You Ever Read A Book About Yourself? - On Writing Technique and Grandmas

My professor, A.J Verdelle, and I exchanged books. I gave her Buck by MK Asante and she gave me her own, a literary classic and praised by Toni Morrison, The Good Negress. I secretly hope she gives me this copy; she can have Buck. I also hope to one day give her a copy of my own book. 

I'm on page 94. I've read the inside jacket, the acknowledgements, and the praise on the back of the book. I think about the age of the work. It's as old as I am. Incredible. But even more, I think about the object. The book. And to think my professor is the author of the book. These words are hers, and not to diminish the work of editors or others, but her name is on the front. This is her work. Neesy, Margarete, and Luke edward are hers. Big Jim and Dana are hers. Even Lontz (one of my favorite parts right now) is hers. My professor would probably tell me "It's not mine anymore. The work is published." I can the conversation; I'd be sitting in her office on the second floor of Holmes Hall, and she'd be behind the desk glancing between her screen and me. But I'd still think its hers.

You ever read a book about yourself? You ever felt so close to a character that you feel you can predict their next move, not because you know them, but because you are them?

I might be Neesy. 

I was born in South Carolina and was raised by my grandmother. I did spend some time up North, in Baltimore where I currently live, with my mother and little brother, but most of my life is centered in the small town of Florence, South Carolina. Neesy was also Southern, raised by her own grandmother in Virginia, until the calling came for her to come back to Detroit to help her mom with a new baby. Neesy's grandma is my grandma. I not only picture the feeling of being snatched away from her Virginia home, but I feel it, not in my heart, but in my soul. I shiver. The feeling is all too familiar. I see Grandma's back porch and a car outside, and I see her standing there, waiting for the call to pull off, and I see the car and dirt under it as it pulls out of the clay road driveway. I see the long roads without lights. Growing up, I never thought it weird. But my three days in South Carolina, riding from Florence to Hemingway with only a car light to guide, the experience felt surreal. And dangerous. This is the broke Black South for you. 

When I see Neesy at the parade, I see myself, all big, Black and Jeremy, at the parade. I see purple and gold streamers. Old cars and happy Black people just loving themselves and loving their alma mater. This is the Wilson High School homecoming parade. Wilson was a mostly Black school. An annual event in Florence, people come from across the country to celebrate at one of the biggest and Blackest events in the area. Both my mom and my aunt are Wilsonians. Wilsonians are some of the proudest people you'll ever meet.

On page 81, Neesy describes Luke edward and his relationship to Granma'am. This part was the part that inspired me to write this piece. Between this page and the one before it, my soul ached and my heart heaved. My grandma was 48 when I was born. She'll be 68 this year. I remember a time before she held on to things for support. I remember a time before I was able to reminisce about things. I remember a time when getting from the truck to the door wasn't so long as it is now. I remember when arthritis was only a word I knew, not the pain and the effort I currently see now. The book made me want to call up my grandma and paint the house. As much as I am Neesy, I can be a Luke edward too; at least in that sense.

This is life. 

Neesy as a character is young, curious, and assertive. To be written in such a way requires a level of talent and technique that merits "Truly extraordinary" from Toni Morrison. The level of characterization and the precise placement of punctuation reminded me of the power of words. 

In the power of words, there's several things I'll always remember from my professor including: circling your verbs, writing in scenes, thinking about objects, and starting from the ground up. As I write Mitch, I now understand that I absolutely must read it aloud before submitting it anywhere. Beyond finding out grammar mistakes, I'm sure I'll find flaws in the rhythm of the words. It'll also help me deliver pregnant, as my professor calls them, places. 

You ever read a book about yourself? You ever read about yourself so rawly, you had to close the book and just think. On page 94, I thought about what I'd read and decided to write a blog post. I love to write. I love to read. I'm learning how to write about what I read as professor told me I should. So far, it's been fun. 

We Gon' Talk About Race

I love to read.

This blog post comes after my stomach dropped at such a disturbing article . This is the post I'm talking about. Written by former classmate of mine, HD Stone, it is a response to another student's post talking about race. Another student at Wofford responded to Stone's post, but the response was rather general and didn't really ask questions to engage critical thinking. I'm interested in engaging on a personal level, using history, experiences, and statistics to have a meaningful dialogue on Black folks. 

I love quotes. My love for quotes might be number twelve on a list of Top 103 Things Jeremy Likes. That's a good spot to be on such a list. With my love of quotes, and context, I'll pull out some troubling statements in the article and try to dissect them. 

1. "Freedom of speech, other constitutional rights, and the heretofore pillars of higher education take a back seat to this “inclusion and diversity” rhetoric and the implementation of leveling curriculums that will no doubt contribute to the stagnation, and closing of the American mind"

This is a very interesting quote, only because it purports that diversity and inclusion are anti-"freeze peach". In fact, I love when Within the context of the article, the author seems to be referencing the protests that have been happening all across the country where students are demanding more representation in faculty, more awareness of issues, and more cultural tolerance.

I have to question the author's true passion for "freeze peach" considering he was very silent when the #BlackLivesMatter protestor was beaten and bloodied for using his right to "freeze peach" at a Trump rally. I guess "freeze peach" only matters when it's not endangering your privilege. 

2. "Here’s an idea for all of you:  educate yourself on real things. Read Aristotle, read Plato, really examine the tenets of America which make it so great. We live in a meritocracy that clearly advocates a certain way of life; yet, so many deviate away from this grand vision and advocate for this utopic, egalitarian society."

"Educate yourself on real things." just may be the one thing to make the most sense in this whole essay. Honestly. The rest of it just makes me shake my head in disbelief and wonder how can someone be so scholarly and so removed from society. 

"We live in a meritocracy".........so you gonna advocate for reparations from slavery or nah? I'll wait on your petition. Or maybe you don't think slavery happened?  Or maybe you never considered the stress that comes from working around people who you suspect may secretly hate you. If white people have to deal with that sort of stress, please let me know. Maybe I'm wrong. If so, I can be accountable for my mistakes and learn from them. 

But back to this fallacy of meritocracy. Living in a meritocracy would demand an egalitarian society, would it not? Meritocracy negates the truth of benefit that connections, wealth, and societal privilege bring. Sorry Stone, your privilege is not earned. We live in a meritocracy, but minimum wage has stagnated while productivity has increased and the cost of living has gone up? 

But let's assume we live in a meritocracy. Great. Technology continues to make certain jobs obsolete, so what happens to those people put out of work? Is their humanity diminished due to there not being jobs for them? Does their need to eat, drink, and survive suddenly go away because technology took their job? 

3."If we truly want to transcend the tyrannical and backward clutches of identity politics as DuBois clearly advocates, we must abandon identities rooted in things beyond America."

For context, Stone uses DuBois' quote that reads: “The problem of the twentieth century is the problem of the color line.” Ironically, Stone agrees. But it seems he misses the point. But it is with this quote that really drives the fury embedded within the article, mostly because of the "Martin Luther King" effect of taking a quote or person out of context. If DuBois was able to see this rotten use of his quote, he'd probable have an asthma attack from the amount of breath lost in one sigh. 

Stone, however, is correct in saying that race identity is beyond America. People who pay attention can look at how European colonialism has taken the world by storm. 

He also puts the onus to letting go of race politics on Black people as if Black people started this race problem. Just in case you forgot, I'll start off with a list of things that Black people didn't do.

- Hop on a ship voluntarily and come to the "New World"

- Break apart our own families and sell our children into slavery to become hard labor. (see Harriet Jacobs' slave narrative)

- Codify laws to keep each other from speaking to one another or getting an education or getting loans from federal housing funds to buy property and build wealth. (see redlining)

- Hang each other on trees in post-Reconstruction America. (see Ida B. Wells and lynching)

- Ask police to kill us unarmed and extrajudicially, forgetting the Constitutional right to due process.

Instead of telling Black people to "get over it" - as conservatives love to do - maybe he should fight with us. He should gather his friends and family and take them to anti-racist training. Why doesn't he tell his Egg-Avi Twitter friends to look deeper into #BlackLivesMatter instead of trolling?

But of course, this article shows a clear lack of understanding. Stone doesn't have to be cautious of every step he takes in the eye of police. Stone doesn't have to make trips to the library to read books on the criminalization of white folk. Stone doesn't have to look up symbols that represent the fight for his freedom. Stone doesn't have to feel unwelcome in this country, nor does he have any reason to. Stone doesn't have to go to community healing sessions to cope with the trauma that is existing in this country. Stone doesn't have to channel surf looking for representation and people like himself.  

But that's my reality. 

I swear, all this energy Stone had put into this article to tell Black folks to "stop being whiny crybabies" might've been able to eradicate racism, had it been used productively. But alas, Stone's article is less about productivity and progression and more about distancing himself from and protecting privilege - including his own in being a white, straight, and relatively wealthy male.  I must ask, why is it so hard for conservatives to acknowledge the problems of Black people and other minorities without insulting them? 

But at this point, I digress. There were definitely more quotes worth pulling out, but then I'd spoil the article. Besides, as a writer myself, I know certain page hits would be appreciated, so go take a look if you must and decide for yourself. The link is at the top.

Let's keep talking. 

Jeremy Discusses Literature: "Apollo" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I read "Apollo" sitting in the Weinberg Center at Johns Hopkins University. It was in the "New Yorker", sitting on a regular coffee table in the waiting area and I only noticed it after skimming through the magazine. 

I was supposed to read six books this summer by request of my English Professor A.J Verdelle. I only read two- one being Balm by Dolen Perkins-Valdez and the other being a book on screenwriting. But I've been all into short-fiction, rereading classic authors like Vonnegut and Bradbury, teasing the science-fiction part of my mind. But "Apollo" was a very captivating story. It was short and sweet and a reminder that not all stories had to be bizarre or carry a large scope.

"Apollo" is a brief glimpse into a young man's relationship with his houseboy. An interest in kung fu created ___. The two grow close, and things start to change for the both of them, until Raphael, the houseboy, catches a disease called Apollo. The narrator, Okenwa's, parents split the two until Raphael can get better, but Okenwa, not having any of it, breaks the rules and gives Raphael his medicine. Once Okenwa catches the disease, things get even more complicated and emotions turn towards malice. "He spoke as though I were a child, as though we had not sat together in his dim room." In an act of frustration, Okenwa does something unthinkable.

Apollo is a great story from start to finish. It doesn't go right into the story, but takes us outside of it starting with introducing the parents and his growing up. The characterization of the parents makes them human, and all too real. They're strict, they don't take any mess, and they're full of love and concern - much like the African parents in the memes. If you don't know, check out the Twitter hashtag #GrowingUpAfrican.

From the language to the storytelling, Apollo is a very nice ten minute read. The strong characterization, without knowing too much about setting or time, creates enough of a story for us to attach ourselves to the characters. Apollo creates a story using people and action moreso than background noise. She writes with a rhythm that's easy to follow; sentences have this smooth flow and the words she uses seem to be chosen wisely. It's an easy read. The information isn't an overload and action keeps the story flowing.

Have you read it? What do you think? Let's discuss below!